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Iron Deficiency

Iron Deficiency: being unable to remove wrinkles from clothing.

I realized quite some time ago that I will never be one of those women whose clothing is always wrinkle- and/or lint-free. Oh, I use an iron. I’ve used many irons over the years, and no matter what model it is, or how hard I try, I am never wrinkle free.

Witness today’s attempt. I needed to iron a shirt so I could look sharp for a photo shoot. Iron hot? Check. Steam activated? Check. Spray starch handy? Check. No more wrinkles? Check this out:

That’s as good as it gets, people.

No matter how long I run that sucker back and forth over my clothes,┬ásteaming, spraying, sweating and swearing, there are always some wrinkles that won’t let go. (I’m mentally preparing myself for the day when that same sentence will apply to my face.)

I see women darting around in their perfectly pressed pants and crisply creased skirts – heck, I’ve even seen plenty of t-shirts that look as if they’ve spent some time under some steam heat. How Do They Do It? Is there a magic iron model that I don’t know about? The Fancy Pants McSteamer 9000…? Or do they just go out and buy new stuff when wrinkles start to appear?

Ah well. I’ve pretty much come to terms with the fact that I’ll always be slightly rumpled, a little linty and sporting a small stain somewhere on my person. I have that lived-in look. Hopefully that makes folks feel a little more comfortable. Kinda like going to someone’s house and skirting past the formal living room that’s reserved for company (you know, the one with clean, white carpets and plastic still on the seats) and getting to sit down in the family room where you can put your shoes on the furniture.

This is ┬ámy world – welcome to it, y’all.

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